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Vision How I
came to be slow Slower Learning in an Instant
Just a second or two at a time Really much less than that, just an instant, a nanosecond, at best The zero time that nothing that lies after the past and before the future The now. Just that eency weency
speck of time so tiny, can I even know that it is there?
Where is it? Is it now? Now?
A blink? Less than a blink? The unrealized,
unintelligible, unknowable, unnamable now? Now is when I am invincible That kind of now The now that I cannot feel or measure or even know for sure that it exists. The kind of now that one could arguably argue doesn’t exist at all And still, there it is. Now. Say it fast now. Draw it out with a breath. N O W And there are times when the energy flows, but now, here I am, pushing and shoving and nothing ever gets anywhere and I don’t know why the reason why the only reason on earth why anything ever occurs is when we think too much about the past and the future and not about the invincible now Now Tiny little zero newborn now Fresh and innocent No judgment Just now No present ticking away No past gathering moss and mildew and tentacles No responsibility except for just this little tiny nowness now The instant between tick and tock MMMMMMM that time between sensation and perception Between the flick of tongue between lips Between the teeth The twitch you knew was coming, and coming. Did you know you were coming now? Are you here now? Reading this are you reading this now? Are you bored now? Want me to write more about sex now, like I did in the past, just a few lines ago? God, I miss the way things used to be and I so long for a future when things will be different Time to get back to now. Now. Now I've been writing about now for the last eight minutes, give a few glimpses of nowness here and there. And nowness gets a squiggly red line under it, when it’s the word squiggly that deserves it. Now I miss you. But it’s not about now, really, it’s all about the past and how I want the past to be just like the future, so in the mean time. I’m just waiting on a now that will never get here because I’ve got a now that I might as well get used to Now. 2006 Patricia Kambitsch
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